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youwishangelfish: Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.

youwishangelfish:

Imagine reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.

rneerkat: yzma: rneerkat: *throws nut at you while youre crying over a breakup* oh sorry did i...

rneerkat:

yzma:

rneerkat:

*throws nut at you while youre crying over a breakup* oh sorry did i cashew at a bad moment?

please stop

*throws another nut at you* pistachiNO

69shadesofgray: If my jokes offend you: I'm sorry It won't happen again 1 & 2 are lies  You're...

69shadesofgray:

If my jokes offend you:

1. I'm sorry
2. It won't happen again
3. 1 & 2 are lies 
4. You're a pussy

incandescen-ce: -nugget: my-kala: pr0ve: how could you not...

incandescen-ce:

-nugget:

my-kala:

pr0ve:

how could you not reblog this.

Hardcore judging you if you don't reblog this.

This is my favorite tattoo picture.

Heartbreaking and honorable

Photo

suckmyvertical: http://suckmyvertical.tumblr.com/

suckmyvertical:

http://suckmyvertical.tumblr.com/

date: sorry: sleep: with me but no me instead 

date:

sorry:

sleep:

with me

but no

me instead 

No Male Ever: Yeah I really like her but she doesn't have a thigh gap

No Male Ever: Yeah I really like her but she doesn't have a thigh gap

teenytigress: DUCK UPDATE: TODAY WE HAD A FIRE DRILL AND HE...

teenytigress:

DUCK UPDATE: TODAY WE HAD A FIRE DRILL AND HE CARRIED THE DUCKY OUTSIDE WITH HIM AND CRADLED IT PROTECTIVELY AND MOTHERLY INSTINCTS ARE FUCKING ADORABLE

ebuddies: a series of unfortunate eyebrows

ebuddies:

a series of unfortunate eyebrows

Photo

pizza: sherlockedinpurgatory: *turns out lights and lights candles* *stands in front of...

pizza:

sherlockedinpurgatory:

*turns out lights and lights candles*

*stands in front of mirror*

pizza

pizza

pizza

*climbs out of your mirror*

wassup dawg

rocoro: not just any hole

rocoro:

not just any hole

poopflow: starllex: starllex: I'm not a fucking comedy...

poopflow:

starllex:

starllex:

I'm not a fucking comedy blog. 

nointerrruption: okay i have the cutest story to tell you all...

nointerrruption:

okay i have the cutest story to tell you all so i work at a frozen yogurt shop and the people in my town aren't typically the friendliest but anyway the woman on the right comes in and gets this huge (as you can see) cup of yogurt and by huge i mean it was around $15 so anyway she reaches in her purse to get her wallet but realized she forgot it so she asked me if she could run to her car real quick to get it. i said sure and as i was waiting for her to come back the woman on the left who was eating with her kids comes up to the register and starts digging around in her purse. i asked if she needed help with anything and she said "yes. i'd like to pay for this woman's yogurt" and i was like what? and she repeated herself and i was like may i ask why and she said "just thought i'd do something nice for someone else" so she paid for it and the woman on the right comes back and i told her what happened she she smiled so big and looked like she was going to cry and she turns to the woman on the left and said "thank you so much. no one ever does anything nice for me and this really came at a great time" and we both asked why and she said "today is my birthday" so everyone in the store sang happy birthday to her and she turns to the woman on the left and says "i make homemade jewelry. let me make you a pair of earrings as a thank you" and they were both so happy and everyone in the store was smiling and i asked if i could take their picture and i got this :') humanity is not lost!

chi-c: Life is unfair. You put someone first who puts you second. You study your ass off for a...

chi-c:

Life is unfair. You put someone first who puts you second. You study your ass off for a final only to get a C. You give 110% to someone in a relationship who only gives 40%. You're there for a best friend at 3:00am and the next day they don't pick up their phone. It seems like you're giving everyone everything and they're just walking away with it.

holy shit this made me cry

How to look good naked: 1) get naked 2) say "damn I look good"

How to look good naked:

1) get naked

2) say "damn I look good"

stevenfresco: stevenfresco: it's 2013 why can't i delete friends in real life ok so it turns out...

stevenfresco:

stevenfresco:

it's 2013 why can't i delete friends in real life

ok so it turns out what i was thinking of is called murder

my-name-is-hilarious: when i was like 6 years old i thought that the rule in...

my-name-is-hilarious:

when i was like 6 years old i thought that the rule in chinese restaurants was you had to eat everything with chopsticks and i mean everything so it came to dessert and i got some ice cream and started eating it with chopsticks and all these asian people were staring at me with jaws dropped and when i'd finished i got a fucking round of applause i shit you not

ineedtofeelskinnygood: FUCKING THIS

ineedtofeelskinnygood:

FUCKING THIS